Safety Tips for Parents, Your Children and the Paranormal

By: Sr. Elizabeth Segleau

We work hard as parents to care and protect our children to the best of our ability. But when paranormal situations come up, it is hard to comprehend. There is not a specific booklet you can pull out and get instructions on how to deal with something that is just beyond the realm of our daily reality. This article is intended to give you some general pointers while the situation is investigated and you meet with the SPI team again and get a better idea on what you are dealing with.

The Basics:

As parents it is important to remember the basics, you are in charge. You are the first models and teachers of your children. They will follow your behaviors. If you get scared and nervous about the situation, the child will follow your example. If you can remain objective and calm about it, the children will feel more secure as well. If you need to confide in other adults or parents about your situation, by all means do so. But do not hold this conversation in front or around the child. This will only increase the child’s concerns about the parents or about what is going on in the home. Children are people, but they are not able to process information like adults. Children use their imagination and their brief life experiences to understand daily events. The child will look up to you for guidance and safety.

Debunking:

This is a word and a task we use a lot in the paranormal arena. It basically means, we don't cave in to things that go bump in the night or day, we check them out first and find a logical explanation! So parents, get to know your house and environment. Do your homework in finding out what made the door close on its own, why the window is making noise, what is mechanically making the TV go off and on or what is making that ticking noise in the closet. 98.9% of the time there is a logical explanation.

Communication:

Any time you have stressed related situations in your family, closer communication with the children will always ease the tension. It will help if you connect with the children a bit more often regarding what is going on. You can ask “what” and “how” questions such as: How did you sleep last night? How has your day been? I see you are a bit nervous, what do you feel you need right now? Or what concerns do you have about all this?
These are neutral questions and they do not put blame or judgment on the child. The child does not need much, just knowing that you are there, you are listening and paying attention to their needs.

Behaviors:

Stressful situations will/can change your behaviors and the child’s behaviors. Be more aware of how you are feeling and thinking due to this situation. Make sure that you do things to keep yourself balanced. The healthier the parent is, the healthier the child will be. If your child begins to share with you conversation they are having with something or someone, just listen, don’t judge, don’t scold the child. Do make note of what happened, when it happened, where and how it happened and what are the conversations about. If the conversations seem playful or innocent enough, then don’t worry too much. Do make sure the child does not begin to lose too much sleep over these exchanges. This could affect the child’s functioning at school and in daily activities.
If the conversations the child is having with this “presence” and is giving instructions to the child and the child begins to follow directions, know that you can counter act the situation, because you are the parent and YOU are in charge, not the “entity”. Your authority will remain central to the child with actions of love and support. The interactions of the child with you should continue to be more important that with the “entity”.

Counter acting instruction or directions from the “entity”:

If you look at your ways of directing your child on a daily basis, such as knowing who their friends are, who the parents are, their phone numbers, addresses, etc.; the same would apply for paranormal situations. There should be no doubt for the child who gives permission to do what. If an “entity” is giving instructions or directions to your child, you will have to establish rules with your child, such as:

If the “presence” tells the child to do something; let the child know they have to ask you (parent/an adult in charge) for final permission. That would include any instructions of going outside alone during the night, to play with matches, playing with knives, go play in the pool or any instructions that you would never allow the child to do without supervision. The child needs to understand that the parent is still in charge and the child must come to you regarding any instructions from the “entity”. Review with the child rules and safety. Always include your love for them. This is why it is important for you to find out what the conversations are about, so you may impose a rule or strategy to counter act these odd instructions / requests from the “entity”.

Fear:

A child does go through normal stages of creating imaginary friends at an early age. Usually around age 6, they eventually grow out of it. With interaction with entities, it is the same. The child will grow up, get busy with other things and forget about the “entity”/presence. Not to the liking of the “entity” of course, but that is life, we all move on to bigger and better things, children included.
But if the “entity” is persistent, bothering children who are older and causing levels of fear that are disrupting daily activities, then, daily modifications will be needed.
The child, and probably yourself, will need a break from these unexplained events. Do make plans to stay over at a friend’s house or a family member and just have a fun evening. Create a fun weekend, some activity that is relaxing for the child and parents alike. The objective is to reduce the fear by not giving energy or too much attention to the activity in your home. This is your home and it needs to be a warm comfortable place to be. This is your family and being surrounded by family should be a safe environment to be involved in.

General reminders:

- Communication is always your best tool to help your children through this new experience you are having in your home. Connect with them more often. Let the child know there is a plan and how they are included in the plan. This will reduce the child’s stress, show the child that you remain in charge and things will be O.K.

Be aware of your behaviors, children watch their parents to figure out how they must act.
Give you and your family a break; find stuff to do that will distract you and your children from the experience.
Call SPI if you have other needs or questions.
Always let the child know and show the child they are loved very much by YOU.

OTHER RESOURCES:

Educational site for children and parents regarding U.S history and ghosts:
http://kids.ghostvillage.com/

A Canadian article on ghosts for parents:
http://psican.org/alpha/index.php?/2008070249/Ghosts-Hauntings/Children-Afraid-Of-Ghosts.html

If it might be all about an imaginary friend, these are two good articles:
http://www.sciencealert.com.au/news/20090708-19525.html

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/greatergood/2008spring/Taylor844.html